Law School

“How does an attorney sleep?”

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

“What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?”

Your Honor.

“First year of law school they scare you to death. Second year they work you to death.”

Third year they bore you to death.

“What's the difference between a law student and a pizza?”

A pizza can feed a family of four.

“A man walked into a bar. The next three patrons ducked.”

This joke only works if you went to law school. (A bar is also the exam you take to practice law.)

“Why did the law student go broke?”

Because he studied so long he passed the bar... exam and the bar... tab.

“What do you call a lawyer who graduated last in their class?”

"Counselor." (They still passed the bar.)

“What's the difference between God and a law professor?”

God doesn't think he's a law professor.

“Two law students are studying for the bar exam. One says: "I'm so stressed, I barely slept two hours."”

The other replies: "Oh wow, I didn't know you could get that much!"

“Why do they bury lawyers 12 feet deep instead of six?”

Because deep down, they're really good people.

“What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?”

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.