One-Liners
“What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?”
Retired.
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Joke of the day
“Judge: "Have you anything to offer this court before I pass sentence?"”
Defendant: "No, Your Honor. My attorney took my last dollar."
Courtroom Humor
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One-Liners
“How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?”
His lips are moving.
One-Liners
“What do lawyers wear to court?”
Lawsuits.
One-Liners
“I broke a mirror the other day and I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck.”
But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
One-Liners
“How many lawyer jokes are there?”
Only three. The rest are true stories.
One-Liners
“What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?”
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
One-Liners
“Why don't sharks attack lawyers?”
Professional courtesy.
One-Liners
“What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?”
The lawyer charges more.
One-Liners
“What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?”
The caterer.
One-Liners
“What's the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?”
The accountant knows he's boring.
One-Liners
“Why did the lawyer bring two suits to court?”
In case he got sued.
One-Liners
“What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?”
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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